I wish I could say that I'd got to where I've reached quickly and on a tide of irresistible logic. But I didn't and I can't. In many ways I learned much the hard way after being taken in umpteen times over. If you want to read some of the greater faux pas of my life, see some of my "life history" pages. Why didn't I think clearly? Why did I waste quite so much time? Those are questions I've asked myself so often. I've revised this page a bit since I first started. Many people saw bitterness, some that was probably there, some that wasn't. What I'd like to do is take you, the reader, back to where I was in the first part of 1999 as thoughts started to erupt in my mind. If you want to find learned treatises for and against the subjects covered here, don't go here. I've compiled some links to sites I found helpful, which I'll point you to as the subjects arise. This is just a collection of bullet points that I wrote down as I made my own personal decision to leave behind what I'd believed for many years.
What this page is all about
You will find here, like in the House of Lords as depicted in Iolanthe, "no pretence at intellectual eminence or scholarship sublime". What I hope, however, is that you will herein find someone trying to be honest with himself and other people around him and trying to express his thoughts as clearly as he can, with varying degrees of success. People's "world views" quite often change, and change quite radically over the course of their lives, and I first wrote this at a time in my life when my world view had changed significantly in the course of a few months.
Nasty Labels
I have to admit that when I first started to put these pages together, I didn't much like the label "atheist", it sounded horribly negative and uncomfortable after all those years in and around the Christian religion and it's taken a bit of getting used to. But I apply that term to people who believe what I believe, or perhaps more accurately don't believe what I don't believe, so that's me these days. I am much clearer about where I stand than I was before I threw in the towel back in August 1999. If you work out some kind of mathematical puzzle or such, you'll know the feeling. You often realise after you've got the answer how much more easily you could and should have got there. Now obviously I'm talking about the Christian religion. That's what I know. Some of what I say could be applied to others, some can't. Maybe different points for or against other religions could be made, but I don't make them here. I don't accept any other religion though. However I'll confine the discussion to what I know. In summary, I can't accept the Christian religion because:
- I don't think it has a correct diagnosis of the human condition, or indeed if there is a disease to be diagnosed at all.
- Even if we accept the diagnosis of the "disease" of sin, I have logical problems with the "remedy".
- The Bible, the touchstone beloved of so many Christians, is not an accurate or reliable book.
- Some doctrines, notably hell, are quite intolerably unacceptable.
- Some widely-held doctrines are absurd and people are kidding themselves.
- The accounts of Christ's life are documented only in the New Testament, in 4 documents which do not agree in significant details, which were not written by eyewitnesses and at least one of the authors of which admits to writing propaganda (John 20:28).
- The "changing of lives" much touted of the Christian faith does not perform as advertised in my life or most other people I meet. In fact it seems to create unhappiness, not solve it.
- It is a source of corruption and fraud.
- Unanswered prayer
I'd like to try and justify these points in the following pages.
Before you do write to me furiously
Please remember that I wrote most of this material at a moment of flux in my life. Much of it is disjointed as a result; where it is I have made little effort to correct it subsequently. Many of the topics do not exercise my mind so much these days. Whilst I would be interested to read what people say about these pages, I really don't want to get into a huge debate with someone who thinks I should be "brought back into the fold". Various people have commented that "deconversion" isn't possible. Maybe:
- I was never a "Real Christian (TM)" in the first place (1 John 2:19 They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us. being quoted here).
- I'm still in there whatever I think, as "Once saved always saved".
- It's all some huge overreaction to experiences and misbehaviour of certain Christians, much of which I document
I don't agree with these arguments and hope to deal with them as I come to them.
The misguided tour begins
There are two excursions on offer here, please feel free to take one or both. Do use the menu at the top or side of the page when you get bored.
- You can read about my "life history".
- You can read the thoughts I have put together under various topics.
Topics
These are some semi-digested ideas that were running through my mind around the first part of 1999, some of which I've added to since. From my knowledge of programming, I know that nothing beats trying the code out in anger for finding bugs. Firstly, here are my reasons for saying I'm not a Christian, not any more, I'm an "ex-Christian". Next, here are my current ideas. They're not complete, they're not finished, they're probably not accurate in a few places and they are probably full of "bugs". Please come back to me and I may perhaps fix them! (But no flames, please!).
- Hell - frying tonight?
- Satan - whose side is he on?
- Inspiration of the Bible
- Charismatic Gifts
- Comments on apologists
- Pascal's Wager
Watch this space for more when the mood so takes me...