Jane Small
Painful as the whole episode was, this account would not be complete without the hellish experience I had of the relationship with Jane Small
I first met Jane at Steve Dennett's house at Christmas 1984. She joined me at my house for Christmas and what became the most difficult relationship began. In many ways she was an obvious person for me too be with. She was quite intellectual in some ways and we were attracted on a certain level. To many people in the church, she was an answer to their prayers for me.
However she had a totally split personality and given to the most incredible fits of intense anger. When she had particularly strong outbursts of anger her whole face and voice changed in a way hard to describe. It would not be hard to see why "demonic" could be applied to that. It was something quite unreal.
Yet her public persona was quite different. She was very different whenever other people were around, changing dramatically, in face and voice, as soon as we were on our own. Only one or two people who knew me very well could tell that something was wrong and even they didn't say until later.
She was also incredibly paranoid. If I had a conversation with someone out of her earshot, she would later put me through the third degree in her determination to elicit anything I might have said about her. Numerous times I asked her to go, I begged her to go, a couple of times I drove her out of my house forcibly. But she would not leave. In fact the turning point was when my mother came to stay a few days and had a furious row with her herself over a lawnmower. My mother's parting shot as she left was that she hoped I'd get rid of her soon.
The whole episode stretched through until September 1985, when she finally left me and went to stay with a family on the other side of St Albans. She fell out with them quite spectacularly, then went to live with 2 other girls, whom she reduced to tears before buying her own flat in St Albans.
It must seem strange to people that I somehow put up with all this, but for someone who'd never had a girlfriend before, there was nothing to compare it with. It was hard not to feel that somehow the problems weren't all my fault as she contended; after all that is the diet I'd had for so long at that church. She said that I'd never meet anyone who'd have any time for me and I suppose I believed that. One of the funnier aspects of the time she was there was that she monitored what I ate to an incredible extent. She'd roll up just after breakfast (we never did anything worth staying the night for, so to speak) and weigh packs of bacon or cheese to work out what I'd eaten, and harangue me if she thought I'd eaten too much, which was most of the time. I remember the constant hunger I was in, my weight plummeted to the lowest I've ever weighed and I'd have dizzy turns if I stood up too quickly. In an attempt to stave off the hunger I felt, I kept a huge bag of peanuts under the spare wheel of my car and a huge block of cheese hidden in the garage.
I cannot describe the relief when she went, although I was sure that I'd never trust any woman again as far as I could throw her. It was perhaps about four years later that I learned from neighbours that whilst I was out doing software consultancy work, she was clearly "entertaining" a man at my house.
The School
No one outside the eldership of the church knew it then, but the school building, which was used during the week for the school and at weekends for the Bourne Valley Community Church, had been leased only for just over 3 years, from January 1982 to July 1985. The church had promised to vacate the building then, but reneged on the promise. The Council, who owned the premises, were less than pleased about this, but granted a final year's extension on the condition that the parents of the schoolchildren were informed and told to make alternative arrangements after July 1986. I don't believe that this message was ever passed on.
The Council did make clear that the church could bid to buy the premises along with anyone else. Gradually the message built up that a huge amount of money would be required.
Claudette
During mid-1985, Reinhardt Bonnke's prayer leader, Claudette came on her own to the church to give a series of talks on prayer to the whole church, which at the time consisted of 4 component churches, Bourne Valley, Garston, Maple Church and Stanmore Church, the latter being led by Frank Gamble.
Claudette's talks were rather controversial. One particular thing she said caused a major ruction; this was that praying "out of the spirit something that God doesn't want" for someone was equivalent in sin to witchcraft. I remember seing Frank Gamble's face when she said that. He did not seem pleased. It was noticeable that none of the Stanmore people came to subsequent talks.
Shortly after this, a brief note appeared in the church weekly newsletter announcing that the church was leaving Coastlands but the Stanmore church was staying with Coastlands and leaving the group of churches. Two or three years later, I learned that Coastlands had thrown Alan Vincent out over a number of issues, but most notably because he unilaterally and publicly acted in breach of the policy agreed by the other leaders during the previous year's Downs Bible Week where he had called the meeting to prayer for Frank Gamble's healing despite the other leaders having agreed this should not be done. Apparently also Terry Virgo had considered that too much capital in every sense was being invested in the school.
Downs Bible Week 1985
After the split with Coastlands, it was too late for those who had arranged to go to the Bible Week to cancel the visit, so many of the church still went there, not myself as I had had enough of the roastings I had had successive years. However I did visit it for one evening. The week was notable in that there was a heavy downpour every day and was subsequently referred to as "Drowns". Of the Bedmond/Garston setup (as it was still called), none of the elders went. It was noticeable, as I've said elsewhere, that there was no mention of Alan Vincent at the Bible Week as far as I'm aware. He had been erased from history.
An attempted milking
In September 1985, with Jane finally out of my life, but leaving me seriously shattered, Alan Vincent approrached me about going into business with Gordon Hickson, his son-in-law, working at the school building. I initially agreed to this, but when I spoke about it to Pete Byers, who was the leader of the St Albans Church, he very strongly told me not to get involved.
I was really quite surprised to find such dissent between them and I went back to Alan Vincent and Gordon. Alan Vincent was incredibly angry at first saying "who is Pete Byers and what does he know about business?" which astonished me. He went on to upbraid me for my "cold feet".
Despite this dressing-down, I decided nevertheless to disentangle myself from Gordon Hickson. I decided to incorporate my company and agreed instead to work with a guy called Matthew Hart, from the St Albans church, whom I'd known since I first worked in Hertforshire.
However the incident, especially in the difficult emotional state I was in at the time, made a huge dent in my respect for Alan. It also showed the first evidence of serious disunity in the church eldership.