Toad's Go Proverbs

Here are the Go Proverbs obtained over time:

1. White stones come with eyes built in.
1a. Except when you're playing white.
2. You can learn all the tesujis and L&D probs in all the books but they never work in your positions.
3. Handicap stones are target practice you play better without them and you play even better if you give them.
4. When you think that your group is safe your opponent will kill it next move.
5. When you think that your group is in danger you will waste a move saving it.
6. When you're ahead just resign it's less painful when you lose.
7. When you're behind just play on because your opp may know proverb 6.
8. Play quickly and make a foolish move.
9. Play slowly and find the really stupid move.
10. If you ever think you understand this game you've finally flipped.
11. You know you're improving at Go if your play when sober is better than your play when drunk.
12. Always allow undos on KGS because your opponent will then make a worse move.
13. Never ask for undos on KGS for the same reason.
14. If you watch someone you know playing on KGS they will promptly lose (and the same for them with your games).
15. Don't monkey with monkey jumps.

(acknowledgements to ElmerFudd for 8 and 9)